Sex and Depression Among Teen Girls

“I used to think it was cool to be a party girl, drink and hook up with cute guys–but what I really want is for someone to want to spend time with me and try to get to know me. After the sex, the guys are never interested in anything else—-its so depressing.”
–Tanya, age 16

The truth is–the party girl, hook-up thing doesn’t work. Instead of the fun and liberation it promises, it delivers disease, heartbreak, shame and despair. Yet Hollywood and the star crazed media hold up the reckless and vacant lives of celebrities like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan as if they are doing something important.

Do Hollywood values actually work in real life for real girls? No way, but that hasn’t deterred the message from influencing the beliefs and behavior of millions of young girls who are buying the lie that everyone is getting drunk and “hooking up” and that sexual freedom somehow empowers and liberates. Here are the facts.

First of all most (54%) high school kids have never had sexual intercourse. Of the 46% that have had sex, only 37% are currently sexually active and the remaining 63% regret having sex. So if Hollywood is merely “reflecting the values” of the culture, then where are the television shows, movies, or celebrities that “reflects” this reality and elevates virginity, sexual restraint and self control? Second, if hooking-up were actually liberating then sexually active girls would be happier and more fulfilled than non-sexually active girls. Right? Wrong. Sexually active girls are approximately three times more likely to become depressed and attempt suicide than non-sexually active girls. Is this liberating?

Why does having sex leave so many girls feeling depressed? In short, the human heart was not designed for numerous, loveless, sexual encounters so It is no coincidence that over 70 percent of girls report that they were drunk or high the first time they had sex. This is not how most girls dreamed about their first time.

Although Hollywood and the popular culture portray sex as “no big deal”—it is a big deal. In truth, most girls want to be loved in the purest sense. They hope against hope that one day they will meet a guy who wants know their heart and mind, who sees their true beauty and pursues them for who they are and not just for sexual gratification.

An ancient proverb says. “Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” How true…