Sexuality and the act of sex is a beautiful thing designed by the God who “knit us together in our mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139) But like all beautiful things God designed for us, they are beautiful in the form and shape, boundaries and plans of the author and creator. Just as a sculptor’s handiwork is fashioned from clumps of clay or marble chiseled from unformed matter, when the sculpture’s artistic shape and the boundaries that define its beauty is destroyed, the wonder and magnificence is gone. Or just as a river or stream is delightful and refreshing within its contoured banks, when the flood waters overflow those banks, the result is devastatingly destructive.
God made us sexual beings, and He created the sexual appetite, through the senses of the body and the imagination of the mind, to be extremely powerful and very pleasing. Consequently, its God shaped boundaries and confinements are necessary to its beauty, enjoyment, and benefit. The sexual trends today are much like a flood overflowing the banks, creating a raging and damaging torrent of emotions, passions, and broken relationships: all with tragic results. The temptations proliferating in our culture, unchecked by the erosion of past societal restraints, are overwhelming for this generation’s teenagers. They need protection more than ever. The culture will never provide it — parents who love their children must.
One could normally say that this stage of life kicks in at puberty. Tragically, however, pedophilia and child abuse introduces this to children in such an evil manner that it can damage their psychological, as well as physical being, for their entire lives. Even a “strong” marriage will be affected by sexual abuse that took place years before when one was a child. Time by itself cannot heal all wounds! But God’s grace can.
With the bad example of some adults, the pressure from peers, the availability of pornography through every conceivable means; the style of dress (or undress), music, attacks on modesty, the educational system, from every direction and every conceivable angle, teens are bombarded with the lie that unbridled sex is something they must experience, or they do not know what it is to “live.” “Experts” whose own children are an example of their lack of expertise, will tell you sexual experimentation outside the boundaries of God’s design is inevitable, so society should accept it and make promiscuity as palatable as possible. Consequently, they push earlier and earlier sex education, how to do it heterosexually and homosexually (either is acceptable), distribution of condoms and birth control, subsidizing abortion, and changing the laws that in the past have protected children. All of this is taking place within our society today.
It is nearly impossible to live in this world and fully escape the sexual onslaught from every corner: popular television programs, movies, music, language, etc. and the easy availability of it through computers, cell phones, radio, television, magazines, and books. Furthermore, public knowledge of adult activity by prominent people has created an acceptance of a variety of sexual activities outside of marriage as moral. Protecting our children from this onslaught is not an impossible task, but neither is it an easy one. Just as you are vigilant for their safety from physical danger or violence, parents must be vigilant for their sexual purity. However, in this battle, you must never forget, or you can become discouraged too easily: He who is in you and in your children is stronger than he who is in the world. The enemy with all his cohorts and in all his disguises looks most formidable and often undefeatable when we consider the reality of our 21st Century battlefield. But be assured, our God is able to deliver us AND our children from every temptation and every situation. Your VIGILANT faith is required, because your enemy is like a prowling lion hungry to devour his prey. From the moment of your children’s birth, he has his eyes on your children. But then, so does your Heavenly Father.
Never give in to the enemy’s constant “dart” that this is a lost battle. Jesus prayed for His disciples not to be taken out of the world, but to be protected from the evil one while living in the world, and bringing the good news to it. It is possible for our teenagers to live in the world and yet be protected from slavery to sin and the father of lies. God has intended for parents to be the spearhead of their children’s protection. Your example of sexual purity within the confines of your “one flesh relationship” of marriage is the first step in protecting them. It is critical if you are going to lead the fight for your children. If you desire to successfully teach them to be vigilant in guarding their sexual being, their body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, from Satan’s effort to destroy them through sexual immorality, you need to teach them by example as well as instruction. You also need to remember your own experience as a young person: your feelings, your appetite, your urges, your temptations, and your places of safety, so that you can honestly and empathetically communicate with your teen.
At the appropriate times in their lives, you need to be frank in talking with your child and teenager about sex, explaining the truth of God’s words on this matter, and the grave dangers they face if they indulge in the temptations that come their way. What their eyes see, what their senses feel, what peer pressure brings, can send them on a roller coaster whose brakes when weakened provide little or no control over what is set in motion. You need to empathize with your growing child’s predicament as a sexual being who does not yet have wisdom, maturity, or years of experience to appreciate the grave seriousness and consequences of experimenting sexually outside the covenant of marriage. Along with your empathy and compassion, you must communicate with tough love the absolute necessity for you, the parent(s) to be very involved with their protection: what they see and hear, who they spend time with and where they go. No one else will do it for you. It is the parent(s) who bears ultimate responsibility before God. There is potential assistance from the church, from other family, or even adult friends who are on the same page with you; but YOU are the main line of defense. Shirking your duty, puts your child’s life in grave jeopardy.
Consult the pamphlet available through our website entitled: “How Can I Best Pray for My Child?” and then practice putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6). With your children and teenagers, discuss how you can in practically put that armor on in the face of all sexual temptations.
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