Teen Issues

Having drunken sex is not only risky–it can also be humiliating and produce intense feelings of guilt and shame. Here is an excerpt from an American Council on Drug Education report on alcohol and sex in which a young woman recounts a drunken sexual encounter.

I was at a party at a friend’s apartment right before Thanksgiving. I got pretty tanked playing drinking games, and suddenly I was outside on this fire escape with a guy I’d met an hour earlier. I was doing something to him I’d rather not talk about. The next morning I woke up and couldn’t even remember his name. I felt disgusted. To make matters worse–either someone saw us, or he bragged to his friends about what happened, because after I got back from the break, a friend of mine told me I had a new nickname. I still haven’t lived it down, and I feel like I’m this big joke.”

Alcohol use increases the likelihood of unplanned and dangerous sexual liaisons for women resulting in heartbreak and regret.

Your first time was meant to be special with someone you love. If you are a virgin, don’t settle for sex when you really want love. If you have already had sex and regret it. Forgive yourself and move on. Don’t add to your regret by continuing to drink and hook up. You are worth more than that.

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Eighty Percent of first sexual experiences occur under the influence of alcohol. This is not exactly how most girls dreamed of losing their virginity. It’s not surprising that two-thirds of teens girls regret having sex. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, impairs judgment and interferes with decision-making. Alcohol abuse is directly related to unplanned and risky sexual behavior.

Here are some facts

o 80% of first sexual experiences occur under the influence of alcohol
o 51% of college students believe alcohol facilitates sexual opportunities.
o 40% of men believe it is acceptable force sex on a woman who was drunk.
o 32% of sexual assaults of college students occur at parties.
o Almost 50% of unplanned sexual encounters are under the influence of alcohol
o By their senior year in college, 81% of students have had sex because they were drunk.
o College students who mix alcohol and sex report having more partners whom they know only “slightly” or “moderately.”
o In two-thirds of unplanned pregnancies, the woman was intoxicated during sex.
o 60% of STDs are transmitted when the partners are drunk.

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Most addicted teens don’t consciously intend to kill themselves. But many become so depressed that they just don’t care one way or the other.

I had been smoking marijuana for 2 years but pot wasn’t doing it for me anymore. II was failing school lost all my real friends–I hated everything. So one night I got 5 Vicodin and was drinking vodka. I remember thinking that if I do this, I may never wake up. It was funny; the thought of never waking up didn’t scare me as much as the thought of facing my life sober. So I took the pills and guzzled the vodka. I didn’t try to die — I just didn’t try very hard to live.
–James a 16 year-old high school student.

Today’s teens live in a stressful and often dangerous world. Easy access to drugs and alcohol combined with the enormous social pressures conspired to create an epidemic of stressed out, depressed teens who routinely “self-medicate” their sadness and low self-esteem. Like amateur pharmacists, some teens eagerly experiment with new drugs, frequently combining them alcohol. This dangerous attempt to alleviate the stress and pain in their lives always creates more problems than it cures. As abuse of drugs and alcohol escalates, so does their risk for overdose. For many depressed teens, drinking and drugging are a slow, quiet suicide.

Causes
Research shows that substance abuse increases the risk for depression. And, conversely, depression increases the risk for substance abuse. Here’s how. All drugs of abuse, including alcohol, act upon the same area of the brain involved in the regulation of mood. Experimentation with drugs or alcohol alters the balance key of neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) in this part of the brain. Regular use of mind altering drugs such as marijuana, cocaine and alcohol cause temporary surge in these neurotransmitters resulting is a short–lived “high.” If the young person is already depressed, the “high” will feel like a vacation from his or her emotional pain. But what goes up must come down — so the highs are followed by dramatic lows and the cycle starts over again. Tragically, most young substance abusers erroneously believe that the solution to their dark moods and life’s problems is to use more drugs or drink more alcohol.

What to do
If you are depressed or abusing drugs or alcohol take heart because these problems are highly treatable but you will need help. Talk with someone who can be objective and honest with you like a parent, trusted friend, pastor or family doctor. Treatment usually involves counseling, medication and 12 step meetings. Whatever it takes–do it. You life is precious and God has a purpose and plan for you.

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Guys get addicted to pornography because their brains cannot distinguish between pornography and the real thing.

Men who view porn can achieve full arousal within seconds. Because of dopamine reward, sexual images and memories are given priority by the brain because, like hunger and thirst, our sex drive is key to our survival. Like important files on a computer’s hard drive, pornographic images and associated emotions are easily provoked, accessed and opened.

For teens in particular, these images literally soil their brains, corrupt their thought life and pervert their perception of women, dating and love. As a result, guys who use porn extensively may never experience the true beauty of a real girl or the joy of a real romance. They simply settle for porn.

Research reveals that teens and young adults who consume online pornography are more likely to…

• Begin sexual activity earlier than peers
• Develop appetite for more graphic and deviant types of pornography
• Incur persistent emotional problems such as depression, shame and remorse
• Believe that the most gratifying sexual satisfaction is attainable without love or true affection
• Believe that being married or having a family are undesirable
• Develop sexual compulsions and addictive behaviors
• Believe that deviant sexual practices such as group sex and sadomasochism are common and normal.

Pornography promises much but delivers only lust and temporary gratification. It darkens the heart and degrades the soul. The more one uses porn the greater the chance that they will never find true intimacy or real love. If you need help– get it now, because this problem thrives in secrecy. Talk with a trusted friend, parent, clergy member, or addiction counselor. Your life or your son’s life is too valuable to waste it on porn.

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