September 2009

Part 3 of facing your teen’s addiction

Substance abuse hinders emotional development in teens. This is due to the psychoactive effects of drugs on the emotional center (limbic system) in the brain. All drugs of abuse change how this part of the brain functions. Teens learn that using drugs and alcohol will quickly change their mood. When a teen is bored, smoking marijuana makes the time pass. When they feel depressed, alcohol or cocaine works wonders—for a while.

We become emotionally mature by experiencing all of our feelings and learning how to cope with them. It may take several years of sobriety for some teens to catch up emotionally. Helping your teen talk about his feelings and express them appropriately is not easy. It will require patience and persistence and, most of all, a willingness to listen.

• The Decision To Do Nothing Thursday I had an appointment with my OB. I needed to have my 6 month check up anyway, and I figured it was a good opportunity to speak with my doctor about my inability to get pregnant, or I should say my frustration with not being pregnant yet. By blogging......
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• How To Change Your Life: Part 5 - Putting It All Together Image by svenwerk via Flickr I hope you've enjoyed this series of posts on how to change your life! We've covered a lot of ground over the last few days, so I thought it might be a good idea to summarize everything for you into a step by step......

Part 2 of facing your teen’s addiction

One of the indications of addiction is the extent to which one’s life becomes organized around using drugs or alcohol. For addicted teens, there is almost always a well-defined sub-culture of friends, associates, parties, and rituals that becomes the center of their social life. Healthy activities that used to capture their imagination such as sports and academics soon become secondary to the “party” culture.”

Helping teens find a new, drug-free social life is no small thing. It’s not as simple as plopping them back into healthy activities. They will need real friends, excitement and purpose for their life. Unfortunately, many lack the social skills and emotional maturity to seek and sustain new friends. Parents must step in and lead.

Healthy recovery groups for teens and young adults are hard to find. As a result, they will have times of loneliness, sadness and boredom as they transition into their new life of recovery.

Here are some tips to help you help your teen:

• If your child went through a treatment program, ask about after-care services and recovery groups in your community. Many treatment centers will assist in finding a 12-step sponsor or 12-step support group.
• Check with your local Alcoholics Anonymous (http://aa.org) or Narcotics Anonymous (http://na.org) about local meetings. Local churches may also have faith-based recovery groups such as Celebrate Recovery (www.celebraterecovery.com/).
• Try to keep him active and engaged by planning fun family activities or weekend trips, or just hanging out with him.
• Find a church or faith community with a vibrant program for teens.
• Acknowledge that recovery is difficult and sometimes “boring.” Ask how you can help today.
• Watch for healthy, drug- and alcohol-free teens or young adults and social events.
• No matter how bored she becomes do not lower the bar by letting her hang out with her old drug-using friends or go to parties where alcohol is available. Stand strong because the risk of giving in is too great.

• Facebook Connect Tips In a world where open social and friend portability has been a big issue for the last six months a potentially huge development happened yesterday and was brought to my attention by Chris Lang.  He was telling me a little bit about it and I think it was his friend......
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• A Lesson In Life by Wesley Crites Life gives us many hard lessons, but the hardest one of all is the passing of a true friend.  Harder still is helping load him into the unceremoniously gray van.  The hardest yet will be helping to carry his coffin, but things can be learned from this tragic time.  The......

Part 1 of facing your teen’s addiction

During illness, good parents instinctively attend to their children’s needs and provide an ample supply of love and comfort. As the child recovers, family life quickly returns to normal.

Unfortunately, it’s not the same when a teen becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol.

Drug and alcohol dependence are chronic, debilitating disorders where recovery is possible, but a cure is not. Some addicted teens require prolonged treatment or multiple stints in treatment to achieve sustained abstinence and return to a productive and fulfilled life. But unlike recovery from strep throat, addicted teens must remain actively engaged in their recovery—perhaps for the rest of their lives. If they do not, relapse is certain.

Recovery is often a struggle for both the teenager and his parents. In this series, we will deal with social challenges, the emotional challenges, and tips for facing these issues as you support a teen in their recovery.

Find out more about Paul Anderson Family Ministries.

• An Extraordinary Life with Meadow DeVor! Tomorrow is HUGE! Do you sometimes lose sight of who you really are? Have you been so focused on taking care of others that you not only overlook your personal stress and unhappiness, but neglect to nourish yourself? Or maybe you've forgotten to remember your birthright of happiness?             Then......
• Your Money or Your Life: Book Review Today I am going to give a brief overview of the book Your Money or Your Life.  Let me say from the start that I think this book is a must read for anyone who is young and planning a financially secure future.  Like any book, there are things with......
• Life Expectancy and Retirement Planning Baby boomers seem to become more reflective and aware of age, aging and the concept of  "how much longer do I have."   We've done a lot but we want to do a lot more.  We're just worried about how much time we will have to get it all done. Longevity and......

Character involves many things from being a person of faith, to someone who works hard, who abides by their commitments and responsibilities, who has come into their own sense of themselves and their worth. However, the true character of a person is who they are when no one else is watching. It is in the little things that true character manifests itself.

For instance, if a salesperson gives you too much change, do you go back to the store and return the correct amount, or rationalize: “It was his/her mistake, not mine.” Deceit is one of those behaviors that uncovers a deep root of dishonor which, if not checked, will grow into a major character flaw that will destroy every aspect of a person’s life.

As parents, we should not tolerate deceit in any form from our children. If left unchecked, it will be a major flaw in your child’s interactions with others.

This requires us as parents to be very alert to deceitful behavior at any age. Does your child embellish the truth? Do they tell you they are going one place, only to find they were not there at all? Do they tell you what they think you want to hear, and then do whatever they want to do? Some parents say, “Sure, my child lies occasionally…but he’s basically a good kid.”

There IS no occasional lie. Even the smallest one belies an internal character flaw: a lack of honor and integrity. Their word not only means nothing…but worse, he does not care. At the Paul Anderson Youth Home, after the first instance of deceit, we may opt for counseling rather than punishment, to explain God’s principles of character and honor, and then issue a clear warning that there will be severe consequences if the behavior continues. If it does, we follow through with holding the young man accountable. By clearly communicating your standards and expectations, you can begin to develop a trust relationship based on their character.  But if they are deceitful, there can be no trust, which is foundational to all relationships.

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• Guest Blogger Dr. Peter Hanfileti on Energy Medicine and Kids - Part One We are priviledged to have Peter Hanfileti, MD as our guest blogger today.  Dr. Hanfileti is a pediatrician and holistic physician with a practice in Vancouver, Washington, and is the creator of the website Principles for Parents and the Principles for Parents Blog.  His main focus is on educating parents about the......